2013... truly a new year, but will it be a new me?

It is a bit difficult to sit and write this post. Year after year I say the same thing, "I'm going to get fit! I'm going to get healthy! I will finally be thin!" If you know me well, you see how that goes. Each year, I lose a little bit a weight but gain it back times two. I need to be honest with myself and not hate myself so much. As much as I'd love to accept myself and the weight that I have now, I don't. I believe that my self hate mixed with my birth control and impatience ruins me and stops me from making my goal.

We have family that we don't see often and I feel like every time we visit. I'm bigger. I fear that my weight will be mentioned and I will have to explain why I've gained so much weight. It makes me filled with anxiety and worry. It destroys my ability to keep a happy face the whole time and makes me miserable and angry to think that my family would even say anything because deep down I know they won't, and they never do. I'm just projecting my own self-esteem issues onto others and that's not okay.

So in 2013, I won't promise to myself or to anyone else that I'll lose weight (even though if I did it'd be great)

This year I will make body positive, fitness and health goals.

Goal 1: Commit to working out 4 times a week, at least one day being used for yoga
Goal 2: Get back into running.
Goal 3: Write once a week in this blog and talk about myself in a positive manner.
Goal 4: Run a 5k by the end of the year.
Goal 5: Have at least one serving of vegetables for each main meal.
Goal 6: Walk with my daughter to the park at least once a week.
Goal 7: Take more family photos with me in it.

Adventures of canning #1

I'm going to wonder off the weight loss thing for this post, but I guess it can be helpful to those who eat out often because they don't feel like cooking or they are always on the go! So, my husband is constantly finding something new to do. With the end of the world around the corner, my husband decided that since he is going to need to know how to survive, he should take up canning. Every paycheck we both sit down with our budget, pay the bills, put into savings, and then split the extra money up between us. Well, with his money he decided that he wanted to buy some mason jars and a pressure cooker to start his canning adventure. He has a lot of things on his 'wish list' that he'd like to learn to do, but he says that this is the most useful and realistic for our family at the time so he chose to start out with this one. Canning is a great way to have meals all prepared, you can take them to work for lunch or have them ready to go in the cabinet or freezer if you don't feel like cooking that night (this happens a lot in our house) So here's how to do it!

First off, you're going to want to sterilize the jars. You can do this by running them through the dishwasher (no soap) or boiling them on the stove.


In the canning section at walmart, they had a funnel so we definitely swiped it since it would make things so much easier and less messy!


Then you're going to scoop whatever you're canning into the jar, we did chili :)


Then you're going to pack it down to get all the air bubbles out.


Then throw the lid and the twist top on and get it tight


Then you're going to want to fill your pressure cooker up to the first line with boiling water. (read the instructions and it'll tell you where to fill) We got this pressure cooker at Walmart for $60. My husband said that this was a good price. We filled it up and turned the stove on so the water would boil while we were doing the jars. When the water is boiling, set the jars into the pressure cooker.



Then put the top on and lock it on there. On our cooker, the top knob will rock back and forth to let you know when to set your timer (this all depends on the cooker). When the knob started to rock back and forth, we set the timer for 90 minutes to cook.



When the 90 minutes are up, take the cooker off the burner and let it cool. When you are able to grab a jar, take it out and let it cool out of the cooker. Some tops may not have sunk in yet, but they will when they cool since the heat will suction down into the jar.



Then they are all ready to store or freeze! We just put ours up in the cabinet and will be eating them later on. We'll let you know how it tastes :)

A letter to my daughter

Caroline,

I know that you can't really understand everything that has happened in the last 21 months that you've been brought into my life. You might have realized that I have looked different. My face some times is thinner but then grows larger, so does my 'stummy'. Mommy has had a lot of trouble with keeping on track. I tell myself that I can't do it anyways, so why try. I always forget my reasoning for starting to lose weight and be healthy in the first place when I get into that mindset. Do you want to know what my reasoning is?

The reason why I want to lose weight and be healthy is because of you. I want to fit on the slide at the park. I want to slide down it and hear you laugh. I want to chase after you when I look the other way for one second, and when I turn around there you are at the very top of the play set deciding whether to climb back down or to jump off and scare the crap out of me. I want to tell you yes when you see your pink trike and beg to go for a walk in it. I want to be able to carry you around when you refuse to walk or be in your stroller and not be out of breath after 5 minutes. I want to walk you to the bus stop on your first day of school, even if the bus stop is a mile away. I want to teach you how to run and strive for what you want in this world. I want to be there cheering you on if you choose to do a sport. I don't want you to be like me when I was little. I don't want you to think bad about yourself. I want your confidence to shine so bright that you aren't afraid to take chances. Most of all, I want to be your role model and I want you to be proud of me.

You are the most amazing thing that has happened to me. You make me want to be a better person and I just wanted you to know that you are my reason for being a better person. I love you and I'll always be here for you.

Love always,
Mom

Week 3: Day 2

Ugh, I've sucked so bad today. I consumed 49 points. Which is 14 points over my daily target goal but I had 5 activity points today, so it was 9 over. I snacked so so much, that was my main issue. I will have to get back on track tomorrow.

It's late and I'm tired from my crappy morning with Caroline refusing to go to sleep. So this is me admitting my faults and moving on with life.

Week 3: Day 1

Hello friends. I'm back. Today was my weigh in and I'm 212.8 pounds so that is a 1.4 pound weight loss since last Sunday. I'm not the happiest about it but it's better than nothing.

I woke up at 4am to take Phil out to the field for work and then came back and slept in until 9:30am thanks to my Nana. I had a Nature Valley graham chocolate thing that I've been addicted to. Those are 2 points. Caroline, Nana and I went to the mall before she left town. I got a Club Lite with fruit so that was 13 points. We walked around the mall and Caroline went on her first Carousel ride! She loved it! We came home and Caroline went down for a nap.

While she was napping I did my Week 2 Day 1 of Turbofire. Today was Fire 45! My favorite so far, the moves are fun and the music rocks! I earned 11 activity points from that! I then ate some snacks which were a triscuit 1 point, baby swiss cheese 2 points, and some cool whip which was 4 points.

I had a light dinner of a spinach roll which was 6 points. I had another nature valley chocolate graham thing which was 2 points. Then I snacked on baby swiss which was 2 points another nature valley bar and a 100 calorie bag of popcorn which was 1 point. (Yes I snacked a lot tonight because I was watching Jersey Shore and then the VMAs) but that's okay since I only went 2 points into my activity points!

Recap:

Points Alloted: 35 points
Points used: 37 points
Activity points earned: 11 points
Activity points used: 2 points

Week 2: Day 6

Today will be a short post. A lot of things regarding my health have taken a toll a little bit on me and I'll elaborate more when my blood results come in in a couple weeks depending on if I have a proper diagnoses. I know people that write blogs about fitness or work as a personal trainer or what have you seem like they are invincible and that they always feel great about themselves or don't feel down. I will admit I feel that way when I see a in shape person at the gym. Well, we all have bad days and today would be one of those days to me.

I feel overwhelmed, down and out, and I'm really needing to pick myself off the floor for today.

So I'll leave my blog at that, and I just wanted to post letting everyone know that I am still here and I will be back to blog and hopefully my chipper self tomorrow.

Week 2: Day 4

Today was hard. Very hard. I woke up feeling like total crap. I had a headache, stomach ache, sinus ache, everything ached! It didn't help Caroline wanted to be up at 5:30am. So I will make this blog quick since I am tired and Big Brother is on.

I had a banana for breakfast and Caroline went down for a nap shortly after that. Instead of resting I did Day 4 of Turbofire which was Fire 30 + Stretch 10. I didn't bring as much energy as usual so at the end of it I was really disappointed in myself. I still got up a really mean sweat, but even with that I just counted my workout as moderate and that earned me 4 activity points. Caroline was ready to get up after this short workout.

So for snack I had a chewy bar which was 3 points. Then for lunch I had a ham, swiss, and honey mustard sandwich on toasted wheat bread with hummus and chips. This was 10 points. I then caught up with my tv shows and drank liquids and before I knew it Caroline was ready for a nap. So I laid in my bed and watched cake tv shows and surprisingly I didn't have that big of a craving for it. I had a rice cake as a snack and that was 2 points.

For dinner, we had tacos with lean ground beef. 4 oz. of lean ground beef was 4 points. I had my tacos on two wheat tortillas, which was 7 points for each. I added bell peppers and onions which is zero points and then 2% cheese shredded which was 2 points, 4 tablespoons of light sour cream which was 2 points. So my whole dinner was 15 points. An hour or so later, I had an ice cream bar which was 3 points and when I sat down in bed at 8pm I had a chewy bar for 3 points.

Recap

Points alloted: 35 points
Points used: 36 points
Activity points earned: 4 points
Activity points used: 1 points

Sorry my post was so bland and quick, I am just exhausted and ready for some shut eye, since who knows what tomorrow will bring. Phil has a crazy work schedule tomorrow so it might get a little rough at home. Until tomorrow, friends.