Caroline,
I know that you can't really understand everything that has happened in the last 21 months that you've been brought into my life. You might have realized that I have looked different. My face some times is thinner but then grows larger, so does my 'stummy'. Mommy has had a lot of trouble with keeping on track. I tell myself that I can't do it anyways, so why try. I always forget my reasoning for starting to lose weight and be healthy in the first place when I get into that mindset. Do you want to know what my reasoning is?
The reason why I want to lose weight and be healthy is because of you. I want to fit on the slide at the park. I want to slide down it and hear you laugh. I want to chase after you when I look the other way for one second, and when I turn around there you are at the very top of the play set deciding whether to climb back down or to jump off and scare the crap out of me. I want to tell you yes when you see your pink trike and beg to go for a walk in it. I want to be able to carry you around when you refuse to walk or be in your stroller and not be out of breath after 5 minutes. I want to walk you to the bus stop on your first day of school, even if the bus stop is a mile away. I want to teach you how to run and strive for what you want in this world. I want to be there cheering you on if you choose to do a sport. I don't want you to be like me when I was little. I don't want you to think bad about yourself. I want your confidence to shine so bright that you aren't afraid to take chances. Most of all, I want to be your role model and I want you to be proud of me.
You are the most amazing thing that has happened to me. You make me want to be a better person and I just wanted you to know that you are my reason for being a better person. I love you and I'll always be here for you.
Love always,
Mom
