It is a bit difficult to sit and write this post. Year after year I say the same thing, "I'm going to get fit! I'm going to get healthy! I will finally be thin!" If you know me well, you see how that goes. Each year, I lose a little bit a weight but gain it back times two. I need to be honest with myself and not hate myself so much. As much as I'd love to accept myself and the weight that I have now, I don't. I believe that my self hate mixed with my birth control and impatience ruins me and stops me from making my goal.
We have family that we don't see often and I feel like every time we visit. I'm bigger. I fear that my weight will be mentioned and I will have to explain why I've gained so much weight. It makes me filled with anxiety and worry. It destroys my ability to keep a happy face the whole time and makes me miserable and angry to think that my family would even say anything because deep down I know they won't, and they never do. I'm just projecting my own self-esteem issues onto others and that's not okay.
So in 2013, I won't promise to myself or to anyone else that I'll lose weight (even though if I did it'd be great)
This year I will make body positive, fitness and health goals.
Goal 1: Commit to working out 4 times a week, at least one day being used for yoga
Goal 2: Get back into running.
Goal 3: Write once a week in this blog and talk about myself in a positive manner.
Goal 4: Run a 5k by the end of the year.
Goal 5: Have at least one serving of vegetables for each main meal.
Goal 6: Walk with my daughter to the park at least once a week.
Goal 7: Take more family photos with me in it.
You can do this Emily. I have a lot of the same issues. You know I am always, always here if you ever need to talk or vent or need a pep talk or whatever.
ReplyDeleteYou are so beautiful, Emily. I know it's hard to see yourself that way but that's how I see you. And that's the truth :) But the most important thing is that you're happy with yourself, so I will do whatever I can to help you with your goal! I would love to do walks together or exercise together and I would LOVE to do yoga!
ReplyDelete-Chelsea